Life Style


But Y’all have been in these situations where you accept that nature is simply against you. Not God punishing you for your many grievous sins, and they are many indeed, or the devil hating on you. It’s simply nature. The natural order of things.

The journey between Rongo and Kisii is a short one. It’s such journey where you don’t fall asleep in the matatu lest your ancestors wake you up 200km past your destination.

Now I jump into the first matatu I see and off we go. I’m happy. Y’all recognise this feeling where you border a matatu and it takes off immediatly. Like it was waiting for you. And you want to call a press conference and say, “Thank you all for waiting patiently. The journey can proceed now”.

It’s well and good until one moment I’m smiling and enjoying my short celebrity status and the next I wanna pee so bad i can hardly breath. I always thought this process was slow and gradual. Like those waste fluids have to pass through the nephron and loop of henle and everything else you were taught in form two biology before eventually graduating into urine.

I tell you when you are pressed everything stands still. Time stops probably to show you her middle finger. And air stops flowing into your wide nostril. I look around and everone is minding their own bussiness no one wants to mind mine. No one wants to help this gentleman in distress. The tout is out of question. He is so rude and I don’t want to be turned into one of those travelling jokes or worse, a meme. A man must keep his dignity. The driver has already broken all the traffic rules Matiangi has put in place. You think he will stop the vehicle for me?

I’m helpless. I’m weak. For the first time in my life given a choice between taking a pee and living forever i’ll shove eternity’s ass away and settle for a simple pee.

I begin pondering over who might have a hand in my current misfortune. All the people I ever pissed off in my short miserable life. My village ancestors? I’m good with those guys

That girl I lied to that i loved her and then disappeared into thin air? Most unlikely.

Or those form ones I ‘mishandled’ when I was a mean form four.

I don’t know. I’m confused. I just wanna pee!

By; Tony Ogwa

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